Welcome to Friday night with USAF Recreation League Softball
by Quarkie
Summary: Yes, it's true the SGC had their own softball team, or rather Deep Space Telemetry did. They were the Deep Space Stars. The biggest joke in the league. It had actually become an event to play the Deep Space Stars, because it was a miracle when they showed up. Join the SGC for some fun, as they take to the softball field right after defeating Anubis and before Jonas heads home.


Siler sat down in his recliner, pushed back and planned to not move from the chair all night. ' _Ahhh, Home Sweet Home.'_ What a week. Not that things were ever boring at work, but it was definitely _one of those weeks_. The very unexpected return of Dr. Jackson from the dead, setting up a runway on another planet, fighting Anubis and now they were saying goodbye to Jonas Quinn. Yep, one of those weeks.

"There's a game scheduled tonight, are you going?" He heard his wife's curious voice from the kitchen.

He kept his eyes closed. He was bone tired. He could blow off the game. He would be justified, not that that ever mattered. You never knew when the team would actually show up. Just when you think it's been too crazy of a week and no one would possibly go, they all do and game on. Other times it can be a completely slow week and there are three of you standing in a field taking the punishment for being the team least likely to show.

Yes, it's true the SGC had their own softball team, or rather Deep Space Telemetry did. They were the Deep Space Stars. The biggest joke in the league. It had actually become an event to play the Deep Space Stars, because it was a miracle when they showed up. The games were not taken as seriously as the others. The Stars had never gone to the playoffs. Heck they had never even won a game.

But when they did show up it was a blast and if there was a game and you didn't show, you risked something like having your locker completely filled with softballs or once his somehow got filled with clay. "Suppose, I'd better."

So, Sergeant Siler donned his Stars softball jersey, grabbed his gear, and headed to the field to see if there would be a game tonight or just dinner and ice cream out with the family. And, the game was indeed, on. When he arrived, the field was packed with players practicing throwing and catching balls. Families filled the stands and his family joined the others to cheer on the Stars.

Sergeant Walter Harriman sat a table with a microphone and welcomed the families and friends of both teams to the game: "Welcome to Friday night with USAF Recreation League Softball."

Siler: "It's a beautiful night here in Colorado Springs, great night for softball."

Harriman: "It sure is. According to Jonas Quinn, there is only a 10% chance of rain and very little wind. Tonight, we've got a match-up like no other for you folks, okay so no we don't, but it will be entertaining, because the Deep Space Stars actually showed up."

Siler: "It's our very own Deep Space Telemetry Stars vs. the NORAD Bears, this is an intense rivalry since we share the same facility and parking."

Harriman: "NORAD has had a pretty good season and may actually make it to the play-offs this year. They have a deep bench, but it looks like two of their top players are missing tonight: Major Dennison and Lt. Harris."

Siler: "The Stars, might just have a chance! Woo hoo!"

Harriman: "On the other side of the field is our very own Deep Space Stars. And look at this turn out tonight, we actually have a full team and will play a game. But it's not all good news."

Siler: "Yes Walter, we've got our base commander and usually our coach General Hammond cheering us on from the stands tonight, and our Flagship 5, rather tonight make that Flagship 4 and the rest of the team."

Harriman: "It is unfortunate for the Stars today as they lose a key player."

Siler: "After the unfortunate incident in the last game we played three weeks ago, which we are not allowed to ever mention again, Colonel Jack "Flyboy" O'Neill has been grounded by his commanding officer for inappropriate language and poor sportsmanship."

Harriman: "More like Colonel "Badboy" O'Neill."

Siler: "Ouch, that's gotta hurt."

Harriman: "And, you would know."

Siler nodded in agreement and continued, "O'Neill has had a banner year. He has been on base 8 times this year and completed 3 runs, although he has also been thrown out of 3 games by the 3rd inning. So, you just never know with the Colonel."

Harriman: "Wow, those are great stats for a player on this team."

Siler: "Yes, they are, but as we mentioned. As punishment for his third misconduct offense General Hammond has stepped down and assigned Colonel O'Neill the position of coach for the next three games they _actually play_ , to work on teamwork and sportsmanship."

Harriman: "Well if you can call screaming and waving your hands around manically, coaching?"

Siler: "Actually, I do believe that is the very definition."

Harriman: "Well, there you go then. The remaining members of the now Flagship 4 members are in attendance and that will give this team the chance to go home with some pride and dignity intact. Yes, we have "Out of the Park" Murray, Jennifer "Fighting Machine" Hailey, Dave "Driving it home" Dixon, and Sergeant "Sparky" Siler."

Siler: "Walter, I really hate that nickname."

Harriman: "Yeah, I know, but that's what is says on the back of your jersey... The teams have warmed up. And we're ready to... _play ball_!"

Siler: "NORAD is first to bat. That's a good pitch by our pitcher Dave Dixon. Dixon would like us to say Hi to his kids who are here tonight all four, I mean five of them. Thanks for coming out and supporting your Dad guys. And, NORAD's Kelley makes it all the way to second base."

Harriman: "The pitch and the swing and McDaniels gets to first, no second base. Come on Jonas, stop smiling and catch the damn ball…. Oh my, I can't believe it, Carter caught the ball in right field will wonders never cease."

Siler: "…..and Murray snags that third Out, folks. We go into the bottom of the first only 4-0."

Harriman: "Of course it's 0, we haven't been up yet."

Siler: "I'm just saying… Now it's the Stars up to bat. Looks like O'Neill is going to go with Carter first. Probably best to get her out of the way. You really don't want her backing out a bases loaded situation –"

Harriman: "Have we had a bases-loaded situation?"

Sergeant Siler: "Well no, but if we did- Swing and miss….Out – really no surprise there. I guess you just can't change some laws of physics."

Major Carter: "Hey Harriman, how many times have you saved the... day?" she yells, as O'Neill holds her back and sends her to the bench.

Coach O'Neill: "Shake it off Carter, Shake it Off."

Dr Frasier: "You suck, Carter!" she yells from the middle of the bench.

Harriman: "Doc, were supposed to be working on encouraging our team mates, here," he tries to remind her.

Dr Frasier: "Yeah, well you suck too, Harriman."

Harriman: "Nice bedside manner, Dr Frasier. Next up Dr. Daniel "Space Monkey" Jackson, The infamous Dr. of Archeology and Linguistics – how many languages can he say – never. been. to. base. in?"

Siler: "I believe that would be 32."

Harriman: "– Swing and miss…."

 _At the bench..._

"We might actually have a shot if you'd just bench Major Carter and Dr. Jackson." Lt Hailey tried to convince Jack.

Jack looks over his shoulder at Hammond and sighs. "There's an element here we are working on Hailey, it's call fun," he explains.

"Winnings fun... so I hear."

Jack shrugs, "Harriman your up."

Siler: "Swing and a hit – ohhhh – ohhh! Caught in mid field, he is out. We go into the second inning 4-0."

Harriman: "Oh hey, I feel like I've time traveled, did we miss the entire top of the second inning?"

Siler: "It would appear so. But probably has more to do with the cooler in the back of the Colonel's truck, than time travel. So, it looks like we're coming in with a deficit of 10-zip." Siler takes another swig of the cold beverage he just procured from said cooler.

Harriman: "Wow, well look who's up, it's Doctor Janet Frasier. She was almost taken out of the game by Hammond earlier for friendly fire. But apparently, he's worried we don't have enough back-up, so she gets to stay."

Siler: "Oh and charge to 300 were losing her – she is Out."

Harriman: "We could really use a guy like O'Neill up to bat."

Siler: "Well, who do we have up next?"

Harriman: "It's Dixon... swing and miss,"

Coach O'Neill: "Come on Dixon you only get three tries, that's 1, 2 and then 3." O'Neill demonstrates the count with his fingers, then looks over his shoulder at Hammond, self-conscious. "I mean, Hit it out of the park, Dave! You've got this!"

Siler: "..Swing and hit. Left center field that's a base hit, and he makes it to first base."

Harriman: "Murray is up to bat. He is one scary looking player – look at those arms. Yes, he is our record hitter. A little trivia... Deep Space is required to replace all unrecoverable balls, as well as pay for any damage when Murray is at bat."

Siler: "He's well worth it!"

Harriman: "Swing and contact, that ball is out of this world. Come on home Dixon and Murray. Nice to see NORAD looking up to us for a change."

Siler: "And, Murray has put us on the boards. 10-2."

 _"Nice."_ Jack rubs his hands together and looks at his bench.

Siler: "Next up Jonas Quinn. Folks this is Jonas' last game, as tomorrow he is heading home, so let's all wish him well."

 _Crowd: Goodbye Jonas!_

Harriman: "Out! Although, give him a break he is playing with one arm. Folks he may be going home tomorrow, but not tonight. He is Out. That's 2 Outs and let's see who's up next."

Col. Reynolds: "I'm here if you need me, Sir." Reynolds let's Jack know very seriously.

Jack looked at him oddly... "Good cause, uhhh… you're up. Go."

Siler: "Reynolds is up to bat. He is a stand-up kinda guy. Yeah, the kind of guy you want watching your back, but maybe not on your softball team when you have 2 Outs."

Harriman: "Oh watch that look there... Just remember who opens that door for you, Reynolds. And, that is an Out."

 _Back at the bench..._

Sam felt bad about not being able to save the team. She had studied the game and was probably the only one that had practiced. "It's just physics, Sir. I know if I can just get the right spin off the bat and the proper trajectory..."

Coach O'Neill: "Carter!" He warned and took a break.

Siler: "Where'd our coach go? Is he getting another beer? – No he is grilling the dogs – well he'll be back folks. His team is in outfield for now. And, it could be a while. Hey, let's go get a dog."

Harriman: "Shouldn't we be out there?" he points to the outfield.

Siler: "Looks like they've got it covered. At least Jonas seems too. Is he flirting with the player on 3rd base?"

Harriman: "Maybe he'll distract her from getting a home run."

Harriman: "Welcome back folks, if you have not tried the dogs – I highly recommend them, now that Hammond has taken over at the grill from O'Neill."

Siler: "Yeah, my dog was a bit on the crispy side. Dogs shouldn't be crispy."

Harriman: "What's the score now? Eek 16-2. Wow, so who is up, oh yes!…. It's Jennifer "Fighting Machine" Hailey another of our Flagship players – swing and a miss, oww, we really need her to come through today for the team. And a swing and a miss. This is a nail biter folks. The pitcher winds up and … Oh. My. There it goes. She's a 4'9" dynamo. Ohhh stopped on 3rd base – great job, Lt.!"

 _Back at the bench, the other members of SG-1 have stood and are flanking Jack at the fence._

Jonas: There's only a 10% chance of rain tonight.

Major Carter: Yeah well there is a 0% chance of us winning this game.

Coach O'Neill: "Would you too, cut it out!"

Daniel" "Oh, I don't know, I have confidence in Jack. I think we might actually have a chance."

Major Carter: "I don't think you've gotten your whole memory back yet, Daniel."

Teal'c: "I am also confident."

Coach O'Neill: "Really guys, that means a - wait a minute I can't tell, is that a joke?"

Teal'c: "Indeed."

Coach O'Neill: "Bite me!... _Siler, you're up!"_

Harriman: "Oh Siler, you're up. Go! Sergeant "Sparky" Siler is up to bat one of the Flagship 4. Yep and as expected swing and hit he's going and here comes Hailey – way to go – that's a run! And, Sparky is on 2nd base. This is exciting, who is next… oh it's Carter…" he says with a little too much disappointment. "Sorry, Ma'am... I know Level 3 combat."

Coach O'Neill: "Sgt, don't you 'sorry' her. Carter, forget the science of it, hit that ball like it's McKay's head."

Harriman: "Wow, he is getting pretty good at motivating his team. She looks like she could blow up a sun. And, she swings and misses, oh but she put everything into that swing. I just don't think it's going to happen for her tonight. Oh, wait... whoa, that's a hit, she is pulling out all the stops and surprises us, again."

Coach O'Neill: Way to go, Carter!

Harriman: "That's two on base! Carter has made it to first base, well that ought to heat up her social life rumors. That is two records folks. Major Samantha Carter has not ever made it to base or gotten a player out this season or well for that matter, any season, she is having a banner day. Next up, Dr. Jackson again."

Jonas: "Colonel, I can't find, Dr. Jackson."

Coach O'Neill: "You're not looking hard enough... don't worry, he'll show up. He always does.

Jonas: "But, it's his bat.

Coach O'Neill: "Daniel! Somebody find Daniel!"

Siler: We would like to take this time to thank our jersey sponsor Java the Hutt coffee house, thanks to Daniel Jackson for making that possible.

Harriman: "Here he comes. It's like he appeared out of nowhere. Go for it, Doc. You can do it! We have two on base and Dr. Jackson at bat. Swing and that is a base hit. Siler and Carter are on the move."

Coach O'Neill: "Carter move it! Move it! Daniel's on your six."

Siler: "Oh! Dr. Jackson is out. Guess you should have stayed on 2nd." Siler jumps back into announcing a little out of breath. "The crowd is really into the game now 16-4."

"Are you hurt?" Walter ask him when he's rubbing his hand.

Siler: "It's nothing, I'm fine."

Harriman: "Good thing Siler has returned from activity duty, because I am up."

Siler: And, Out! That was a short break, Walter. Next up is Dr. Janet Fraiser – swing and miss and thanks for playing Doc, but I think somebody is going to need to call a time of death on this game.

Harriman: "Oh, that's bad…"

Sergeant Siler: "This game is now in jeopardy of being called on the Mercy Rule."

Coach O'Neill: "Over my rotting corpse."

Jonas joins the Sgts at the microphone: "The Bears were 2 runs short in the 3rd inning, but you need a 15 run lead in the 4th to call a mercy game and they were only ahead by 14 runs. Unfortunately, the chance of rain has increased to 15%."

Harriman: "Thank you, Jonas for an explanation of the rules and the weather update."

 _Back at the bench,_

Teal'c: "Were you not going to spend this evening catching up on the Simpson episodes you have had to record, as of late?"

Coach O'Neill: "Undomesticated equines couldn't keep me away from tonight's game, my friend."

Cassie: "What's the score?" Cassie joins Jack and Teal'c at the fence.

Coach O'Neill: "Hi Cass, didn't expect to see you here."

Cassie: "I didn't expect you all were going to make it tonight, but thought I'd better check when I couldn't reach Mom. Is that right? Is the score really, 27-7?

Coach O'Neill: "It's what we do."

Cassie: "You're team sucks, Jack."

Jack: "Yeah," and he smiles with a huge grin.

Cassie: "Where's my Mom?"

Coach O'Neill: "Out in the field." He nodded at her direction in the outfield.

Cassie: "Sam?"

Coach O'Neill: "Simple recon."

Cassie: "She went to get you another beer, didn't she?"

Siler: "Rockwell at bat, contact... it's out of the park and that's two more runs for the Bears! Simmons is up at bat. Pop and fly ball, Hailey's under it... and got it. That's game folks."

Harriman: "What a game!" The Stars bench and families run out on to the field cheering and hugging one another as if they have won the World Series.

Teal'c: "Daniel Jackson, did we not lose the game."

Dr. Jackson: "Yes, but we scored 7 runs."

Teal'c: "But they scored 29."

Jack looked on at his happy team as the NORAD Coach walked over to shake Jack's hand, "Thanks for clinching our spot in the playoffs, Jack. Fun as always."

Coach O'Neill: "Like you needed our help – I didn't even think our games counted."

Bears Coach: "They don't, I was just trying to be nice." He looks over his shoulder at the team jumping up and down on the field cheering, "You're folks are a bit…"

Coach O'Neill: "Nuts?" Jack smiles, puts his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his heels. "It's been a rough week." He calls out. "Who's ready for cake?"


End file.
